Dating an Asian woman is a one-way ticket. If you're male and not Asian, you should be forewarned. Once I find out you've dated an Asian before, you've been cast off as an Asian fetisher, a yellow fever case, and I'll see you again never.Dating an Asian woman is a one-way ticket. If you're male and not Asian, you should be forewarned. Once I find out you've dated an Asian before, you've been cast off as an Asian fetisher, a yellow fever case, and I'll see you again never.

The first Asian girlfriend is fine. No one will question the motives. The second Asian, however - ”that will spark the questions.

After a few weeks of dating, my boyfriend told me his last girlfriend was Asian - ” specifically Korean. Being the Asian American studies minor I am and having just read Asian empowering books like "I am Asian, Hear me Roar", I was turned off. Immediately, I wished I was the first one so my paranoid and neurotic self would avoid thinking of him as one of them - ”an Asian fetisher. I've always thought I had a radar. I'd pick up which men were fetishers even at a 10-mile radius. Did it fail this time?

Of course, I didn't break up with him just because he's dated Asians before me. He's a great guy and I'm rational sometimes. He's the first non-Asian I'm dating seriously and I noticed a few things.

For one thing, he doesn't want me to think as myself as the second Asian, but I do. I pulsate whenever I hear Asian related stories as if they relate to me. He'll tell me how he went with Korean girlfriend number one to a restaurant full of Koreans, and how he saw the look of disdain on other diners' faces. Other times, he'll recount times he's met her parents and how he was treated as an outsider. I don't think these stories are told to show me he's had experience with Asians so much as to share his experiences with me, but I still pulsate. He tells me because we remind him of his past experiences with another girl who is Asian.

And then one night, he told me a female friend of his would be crashing on his couch. And though they are strictly platonic now, they've had sex with each other when they first met a year ago. Oh, and she's Asian. I flipped. Aside from the immediate situation of having a sleepover with a friend whom he had sex with in the past, she is Asian.

That would make me Asian number three. My mind raced to think of any other Asian encounters he might have had that could prove him to be an asian fetisher. I thought about his office and the lead singer of a band on his wall. She's Asian. Kill me now. Was I missing any more Asians? Has he drove me absolutely psychotic about my ticket number on this seemingly longer Asian line? Yes.

I guess I should have been tipped off by the "I heart Asian girls" t-shirt he wanted to buy last week. And as much as all signs point to "yes" to him quite possibly being an Asian fetisher, my radar isn't beeping.

If he were Asian, I wouldn't think twice about any of these incidences (well, I'd think twice about his friend sleeping over), but I wouldn't worry if he dated a Korean girl before me, or if he had sex with a Chinese girl. It just wouldn't matter.

And then it dawned on me. Maybe, it's just not that important.