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Western men marrying Asian women - Classic horror stories

From "Brokenhearted Brit in China"

I met my Chinese wife some four years ago online. Despite her speaking no English and my Chinese being basic at the time, we seemed to hit it off. We had issues though from the very start: cultural chasms, worlds apart. The Chinese in the mainland at least, inhabit a world of expediency where it's not a question of what is good or right or true; but rather, what one can get away with, it's the worst kind of dog-eat-dog world but devoid of any of the civilizing values such as fairness, kindness or basic courtesy.

Everyone's out for their own interest and devil take the hindmost. Pure unadulterated capitalism with a cruel twist. In China, there's a saying that if you put head over the parapet someone will shoot it off; it's a collective culture and so you'd better keep a low-profile; do mediocre work at best and so avoid being noticed, utterly at odds with Euro-American drives to excellence and competence. You can imagine the kind of fall-out that happens when such disparate cultures collide.

My wife (then my girlfriend) told me she loved me and I was suckered in by her victim sob-story of how her violent dad would throw her against walls which is why she behaves like a demented control-freak most of the time: has to have her own way, be right about everything and have an opinion about everything... Despite a professed conversion to Christianity she still behaves like a psychotic harridan most of the time but is now an expert on the Bible too to add to her list. It is truly sad that she can only feel safe when she is dominant in every conversation, every situation, bosses everyone around.

She's massively insecure and this is just compensatory behaviour but if you think it's no big deal you should try living with it day-in-day-out: my confidence is almost all gone since she makes demeaning comments all the time, has to in order to feel good about herself. Don't get me started. Don't repeat my mistake: you cannot love these people better, at least, I have failed to, but I really tried, boy did I try. I read this online yesterday and it helped me wake up a little bit, see what you think (the language is a bit rich):

This is my wife to a tee, bar the sensitivity mentioned in point eight:

I realized I'd been had when she fell pregnant and aborted without even a discussion and in face of her professed love for me. 'You're not suitable', was her retort. I now know this meant I didn't have enough money.

How do I know? Easy: when I got a high-paying job suddenly she wanted to marry me. That's when my own neediness kicked in (no living family, no friends here in China or elsewhere for that matter: 'There is safety in having many advisers' - Prov 7:14) and when I should have run a mile, I stayed. Now my life is a daily hell of put-downs, demeaning remarks, undermining me in front of her daughter (nine-year-old). Don't make my mistake. "Every credibility gap has a gullibility fill" - guess who supplies it? ...

Lessons? Heed the red-flags early. A man can live without trust, without love, but not without respect.



I married a girl from the Dominican Republic. The marriage came about as a result of a complicated string of events. She lived with me for 3 years prior to marriage and for me she was a soft loving person and physically attractive. Her education was basic and now that we are married she has not made any attempt to improve herself. Her written Spanish is embarrassing and she still speaks pidgeon english after more than 8 years together.

She has no understanding of finances and her expectation of me is to pay all expenses and keep her in an upper middle class existence. I have adopted her son who now I found out has an IQ in the mid 80's and at 18 his only interest is in eating and watching movies especially cartoons.

When we go shopping she never looks at price but simply picks up what she wants. While I am busy getting groceries, she is outside picking lottery numbers or lounging in the cosmetics section. Her son is better dressed than I am and he gets whatever he wants whenever he wants it, not as a reward but out of some genetically encoded programming.

He has popcorn to watch the cartoons with and has absolutely no interests or motivation. In summer vacation he watches TV until the early hours and gets up at noon. He has no motivation to get an advanced education and it looks as though i will have a son for life...

As you can imagine intellectual stimulation does not come at the dinner table but through the internet or reading. It is like having two young children at home; her and her son.

I married not out of love but out of pity; to break off the relationship would have catapulted her back into a 3rd world lifestyle. I ended up learning a hard lesson in life. If you apply your experience, perspective and values in life, to judge how another person from another culture views life you will invariably be wrong. I felt that she would be forever grateful if I pulled her out of the gutter and graciously allowed her to live like I do.

Wrong! All of this is expected and taken for granted. I feel like a doormat. In terms of priority in our family unit, it is her son, the dogs and finally me.

My job is to be the rice bowl. I am the ATM machine to spew out $ on demand.

The argument I hear from many men is that American women are spoiled and demanding and have no respect for their husbands. My experience is that once you bring a foreign woman into an American lifestyle she will metamorphose in a nanosecond but still maintain her cultural values. In the end it is better to stay with your own culture, the culture you know. They understand and think, eat and live the way you do and in the end there are fewer unpleasant surprises. In my case, I am patient but very aware that the day will come where I will be unable to jump across the cultural abyss that divides us.


Max ("My Chinese Wife Set a Trap!") was either very naive or so out of touch with the realities of Chinese Culture, traditional family obligations, and sexual politics. He seemingly had no idea what he was getting into when he married a Chinese woman.

He deserves what he got; as do the other western expats in China who fall in love and marry a Chinese women who later prove not live up to the ideal image of the demure subservient Asian honey.

I could write volumes about the disastrous results of relationships, marriages, and divorces of expats I've met here who married Chinese women.

Before I even arrived in China, I took the time to educate myself about the culture. As a result of my research, I knew I would only become involved with a Chinese woman if I knew they clearly understood marriage was never something I would consider. Once talk of meeting parents, giving money, living together, or marriage is mentioned, the relationship ends. Sometimes I have ended it; but most often it is the woman who walks away because she knows I have nothing that her culture and tradition demands I give her. That approach has served me well.

As each Laowai [greener] friend I have known here has got married, I knew they would be divorced within a two to three time span after a green card or citizenship in their home country was granted to their spouses.

Perhaps for your readers who which to learn more about relationships in China and Chinese women, I could recommend an excellent website operated and written by an Expat American Psychologist who has lived in China for many years. Gregory Mavrides, Ph.D.
aka Talkdoc to many expats in China, discusses many aspects of issues raised by recent articles on your site. His website is called Middle Kingdom Life. This page is a good entry point...


Columbia study on racial preferences in dating

In 2007 economist Ray Fisman, in a two-year study he co-authored on dating preferences among Columbia University students, did not find evidence of a general preference among white men for Asian women. Furthermore, the study found that there is a significantly higher pairing of white men with East Asian women simply because East Asian women discriminate racially against Black and Hispanic/Latino men. As quoted on,[14] and also reported in The Washington Post and the Review of Economic Studies (a publication of the London School of Economics):
“ We found no evidence of the stereotype of a white male preference for East Asian women. However, we also found that East Asian women did not discriminate against white men (only against black and Hispanic men). As a result, the white man-Asian woman pairing was the most common form of interracial dating—but because of the women's neutrality, not the men's pronounced preference. Men don't seem to discriminate based on race when it comes to dating. A woman's race had no effect on the men's choices. ”
The study was carried out over two years and was conducted by economists Ray Fisman (lead researcher from Columbia University) and Emir Kamenica (University of Chicago), as well as psychologists Sheena Iyengar (Columbia University) and Itamar Simonson (Stanford University). They took data from "thousands of decisions made by more than 400 daters from Columbia University's various graduate and professional schools."[14]


Ha ha
You must be Asian women writing this to boost your ego.
The most common IR marriages is between Hispanic women/White men.
It's not a big deal like AW/WM because Hispanic comes in all shades/shapes unlike
Asian women who all looks alike.

Black Women have been mixing in this country before Asian women became obsessed with dating White men. White went as far as raping Black women and created plenty of light skinned Blacks or the ones from Spanish countries who people referred as Hispanics.

It was a Black woman/White man who fought to make IR marriages legal in the U.S.

The reason you don't see more Black women with White men in the U.S. is because majority of Black American women are not into White men.They preferred Black men but White men won't admit that due to their ego and false superiority.

If you go to France/England/Italy you will find plenty of attractive European men who are with African or Caribbean Black women.

Lol,I had a German guy who told in Germany the type of White men go to Asia for Wives are considered losers by Germans.

Lol,before the Internet We didn't hear these type of praise for Asian women,so one must wonder if Asian women are behind this.

Men who ordered mail order brides used to ashamed about it and it was done in secret.

If White men thought Asian women were so beautiful,how come the Blond haired/Blue eyes White women is still the epitome of Beauty in Wester society?

The reality is majority of White men who are dating Asian women are Jewish
usually nerds, fat,bald ,old White men who are bitter towards White women.

If these White men were so happy with their Asian dolls why do they need to put White women down,shouldn't they be happy with these women and forget about White women?

I'll tell you why? because majority of these men feels like they are settling for something less and they are not happy about it.

Asian women knows that,so this is why most of them can jealous,cold,nasty and bitter towards White women.

Most White men don't give a genuine ,respectful reasons for dating Asian women.

These are the reasons giving
They are submissive,will do anything in the bedroom,cook,clean,etc...they don't argue ,treat their men like kings blah blah.

Why these losers are not saying is that majority of these women only played the stereotypes before that ring slip in their fingers and pop couple ugly happa babies.
lol,that's when the crazy dragon lady comes out and these marriages have a high divorce rates.

These losers don't talk about how they got played/used by these Asian hookers.
I guess they have to protect their fragile egos and suffered in silence.

It's also mentioned that many of these Asian broads sometimes get abused their White gods because when they don't like a servant ,the men gets mad.

Yes you will find some marriages between WM/AW who's not like that but majority end up in divorce.

It's not uncommon to meet Asian women with White fever who have been married more than 2 times because of divorces from their White knights.

Asian women wants to compete with White women but White men will never see you equal to a White woman because their superiority complex won't allowed it.

It's also well know these men cheats on their Asian brides left and right but Asian women will put up with it to save face/humiliation.

This is was an interesting facts about IR marriages in the U.S.

Asian women/White men have a hight divorce rates
Black men /White women have a high divorce rates
What these both groups have in common? because a lot of these relations are based on superficial reasons and stupid stereotypes .

Black women / White men
Asian men /White men

These relationships last longer even tho they are not too common in the U.S.

So please Asian women when your bragging pretending to be White men who worshipped Asian women,please talk about the high divorce rates of these UNIONS in the U.S. and also in Asia(China).


That is extremley ignorant and obnoxious of you to say. You mam are a bitch. Asian males with white females have the second highest divorce rate after black men with white women. Asian females and black females with white men have lower divorce rates.


Dummy’s Guide to Asian Girls with White Fever
The WHIGGIE (White Guy Groupie)
A brief profile of Asian girls afflicted with “White Fever”
ORIGINS: A subset of women of Asian ethnicity, usually found residing in major U.S. cities, although they have been known to appear overseas occasionally. Closely related to their cousins, Yellow Cabs (Japan), Gwei-Po’s (Hong Kong), Sarong Party girls (Singapore), Twinkies and Bananas.
NOT TO BE CONUSED WITH: Intelligent, emotionally-secure women who are free of identity problems, self-hate, racial prejudice and chips on their shoulders.
- Poorly developed self-identity. Pathetically insecure with themselves and their ethnicity.
- Resentment of father’s traditional, authoritarian upbringing (whether real or perceived).
- Brainwashed into believing that they, as AF’s, are more desirable than other women in exotic lotus blossom kinda way. Willingness to pander to western media sexual stereotypes of AF’s, which they perceive as marketing advantage.
- Thoroughly whitewashed. Desperate need to fit into “mainstream” (i.e. white) society and to distance themselves from their Asian heritage. Racial inferiority complex.
- Feigned air of superiority when dealing with members of own race and any other minority groups. In need of major attitude adjustments.
- Exaggerated, whiny, Encino-esque valley girl accent.
- Delusions of grandeur… “I want it all…and that begins with the right (i.e. white) guy…” Asian-American princess complex.
- Uncanny ability of determine one’s nationality, occupation, earning capacity and make of auto within three minutes of commencing a conversation.
- Exaggerated perception of white males’ value in increasing AF’s social status.
- Ignorant and narrow-minded, eager to adopt and perpetuate fallacious western media stereotypes of Asian men.
- A compulsion to trash Asians, particularly Asian men, in order to justify their autoracist tendencies, placate their guilt and bolster their self-esteem.
- Extremely shallow, self-centered, argumentative and boring.
- Disdains ethnic studies; regards it as a major threat to her carefully constructed, self-deceptive whiggie identity.
- Despises all Asian men, with the occasional exception of their brothers (after all, they share the same genes.
- Believes that racism does not exist because she, as an AF, has never experienced it first hand, or is too dense to realize it. Besides, those Asiaphiles are so nice to her (while plotting to get into her pants.
- Gets a warm fuzzy feeling when watching The Joy Luck Club, while snuggled up to her geeky Asiaphile boyfriend.
- Believes that the only reason an Asian person would disrespect her is because they are racist.
- Has lost count of how many WM’s she’s done this month.
- The wet-dream come true for socially-handicapped Caucasian nerds who are unable to attract Caucasian women.
- Threatened and insecure in the presence of any culturally-perceptive Asian person or any AM not fitting her stereotype of the quiet , marginalized, “model minority” geek.
- Fundamentally insecure, utterly confused, lacking in self respect.
- Many aging whiggies, after being used and abandoned by WM’s in favor of younger, more nubile whiggies and being rejected by AM’s who see through their transparency, develop a bitterness towards all men, period.
- Denial of all of the above.
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS: a) Look of contempt when eyes meet those of any non-white male, converting to beaming grin upon sighting of WM victim/target; b) terminal pout or c) bimboish expression that defies deep thought.
TYPICAL ATTIRE: Anything trendy, mainstream-looking and seductive (especially if it’s black and tight). Big hair (perhaps their most valuable asset) tossed with hand every 15 seconds. Wonderbra. Fanatical whiggies have been known to undergo certain procedures such as eyelid surgery, breast augmentation and vaginal tightening operations in order to increase their marketability to WM’s. Blue contact lenses and bleached blonde hair have even been sported on occasion. Note: Attire may vary depending on the specific type of WM being targeted.
I.Q: Too low to measure.
Personal ad columns (“exotic, slim, SAF seeks successful, generous SWM”), cheerleading squads, sorority houses (role: token “oriental sisters”), T.V. newsdesks, B-grade Kung-Fu flicks, trendy nightclubs (usually found necking with aging WM’s), Chinese restaurants (slumming with the WM and demonstrating that she’s “in touch with her heritage”), anywhere else frequented by White males.
Age 10: “Mom, why do we have to be (Chinese/Japanese/Korean)? Do you have to dress like that? And what’s with Dad and his accent?
Age 12: “Mom, I want an eyelid job for Christmas, okay?
Later on…
“I’ve always only dated white guys. I don’t know why, I just have.”
“Race doesn’t matter. I just happen to like white guys. It’s just a preference.”
“We are the world, we are the children…We…”
“I’ve gone out with all kinds of guys…Dutch, English, French, German, you name it. Even went out with a Jewish guy once! After all, love is color blind.”
“Eeeew, Jennifer, how could you go out with that (insert minority group here) guy!?” Totally gross!
“Oooh Roger, you’re like soooo strong and intelligent. Did you say you drive a beemer? Kewl! (giggle).”
“I want to learn English better…you maybe teach, handsome man? Are you U.S. citizen?” (Yes FOB’s can be whiggies too!)
“Like why would I want to go out with an Asian guy? They don’t own me or anything. Uhh, and besides they are all male chauvinist …and domineering too…yeah that’s it! Didn’t you see The Joy Luck Club?”
Like, I’m dating *out* of my race, so how can I be racists?!! Duh!!
CLOSELY RELATED TO: Racists, bigots, wannabes, ho’s, chameleons, white supremacists, a fish out of water.
MEDIA REPRESENTATION/ROLE MODELS: Connie Chung, Amy Tan, Lisa Ling, Margaret Cho, Sheryl Wu Dunn, any of The Joy Luck Club protagonists (except the one who married an Asian dude).
NATURAL COUNTERPARTS: Asiaphiles…who else?


ROFL i love this. you need to organize it better though its so confusing to read. but i want to do what anonymous 1 said and print out copies of it and leave it for places with high concentration of WM/AF relationships...(ie: my college)


This is good. I will print it off and take it to the coffee shop where I witnessed most of these interactions yesterday. And yes, the AF was wearing daisy dukes, sunglasses on the top of her head, playing with her hair every 15 seconds, low cut tight black top and even smiled at me (an old white guy). Made my day and the coffee was good, but the poor Med Students she was lambs surrounded by a circling wolf.


I find it funny how Asian women are always complaining about yellow fever but when they only date White males.
Columbia university did a study on this subject and the find out that yellow fever is not a rampant as Asian women would like people to believed.
They find out that majority of White men who would date Asian women ,were also opened to date non-Asian women. The irony is that majority of Asian women wanted to date White men only.

Asian women cry about yellow fever to cover their self-hate/White worship,it's a way to hide their own fetish for White men.

Check any dating sites,you will see that majority of Asian women are seeking only White men but most of the White men are open to other races.

Lets be honest some the reasons White men give for dating Asian women are based on American media who is controlled by Jewish White men.

Lol, it's a coincidence that majority of White men with Asian women are Jewish.

People can talking about AW/WM relationships but no one talks about the high divorce rate amongst these couples.

No one discussed on how Asian women dates so many White men before finally marrying one which usually end up in divorce.

So no majority of these White men going after Asian women do it for the wrong reasons.
They assumed these women will be like a maid/servant not an equal partner.

So Asian women no ones is buying the bs as if your being forced to date these predatory White men.

White men knows Asian women are easy to get if they are White men,so it's no wonder they go for you. Asian women are also aggressive when they out looking for White men and will do anything in the bedroom to keep this man.

Btw I knew some Asian women who were dating 2-3 White men at the same time,so Asian women are sneaky sluts/Whores.


Hello people. I just feel like this is better insight and more likely to generate some mutual understanding as these are the very words that "creepy yellow fever guys" have been trying to get across for a long time now. You should all read the text and ignore the nudes. I have no idea why she has those pics.


(I felt the need to double post because I forgot my email last time which I think is required, so my bad if this post shows up twice.)

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